If you want respectful children…
You gotta be respectful to them.
You want your children to listen to you?
You gotta really listen to them.
You want a child who is caring, sensitive and patient?
You gotta be caring, sensitive and patient to them.
You want a resilient child?
You have to let them practice struggling and recovering—with support.
And if you want your child to have impulse control…
you have to have it with them!
As in, don’t lose your cool. And when you make a mistake and respond in ways you wish you hadn’t (which we all inevitably do), you need to make amends—the benefits of which are numerous: 1) Your children will see you as fallible and thus human, 2) they’ll know you truly care about their feelings and 3) you’ll be modeling remorse and humility.
And just because you do treat them with respect and compassion, doesn’t mean they will transform their behavior overnight.
Patience, repetition and predictability are key.