"Smart, audacious and often hilarious. Takes everything you thought you knew about parenting and turns it on its ear." - Jennifer Jason Leigh

“Give Grandma a Hug and a Kiss”

Please see my piece on babble.com:

 

Here is someone who didn’t agree with me:

Teaching your kids to be sociable is not prostitution… teaching them to be nice to their grandparents is not wrong. Half of life is doing things you don’t really want to do ( like work) & the other half is being gracious to others. You won’t get very far in life acting like a selfish, ungrateful @$$-hole. Kids don’t develop good manners & social graces by themselves, they have to be taught them. You can tell people who were never taught good manners because they are selfish, ungratful @$$-holes who make life miserable for everyone around them.

Here’s someone who got where I was coming from:

I agree entirely with this article. Jennifer Lehr has proven many points that parents usually don’t think about. When I was in high school, my mother always said that I needed to hug her and my father more (“You know, like when you were little.”) However, they didn’t say anything when I was little. I just went and hugged them. As I grew up though, I didn’t care for hugs or anything. It was something I just didn’t want to do, not because “I’m too cool for that stuff”. Eventually, they nagged me about it so much that they turned to guilt-tripping me. “Daddy, doesn’t feel like you love him, so go hug/snuggle him.” So, I was like, “He only knows I love him if I hug him?” or “Doesn’t that mean that he loves me conditionally?” On numerous occasions, I was forced into it, and it felt just as it sounds. It felt like I was being used or something, like I was a dog that was only meant to follow commands. So, obviously, I got more and more hateful of showing my affection. I wish my parents had learned (1)”You’re a pimp”, before they had me.